What is anger?
Can it be overcome?
Indeed Should we Even Try?
One of the unhealthiest emotions is our old friend ANGER.
When you get angry you loose more than your temper, Even a single word spoken in anger can leave an impression on a person’s heart that may remain for a long time. It starts with the realization that we do have the choice to think and feel the way we want to. If we look at what it is that makes us angry, we might discover there is nothing that has the power to make us feel this way.
We can only allow something to trigger our anger—the anger is how we respond to some event or somebody. But because we are so used to reacting on impulse, we forget to choose how we want to feel, and then respond inappropriately, leaving ourselves with angry feelings. One lesson to learn is that, try as I might, I can never control circumstances, people or situations. The only thing I can control is the way I choose to respond. Only I can increase my capacity to tolerate; only I can develop my ability to understand; and only I can nurture my love for others regardless of whether one day they praise me and the next they defame me.
Modern-day life comes with a whole host of challenges. In facing these I have come to see every interaction within our world as part of one large drama or game. And within this drama, every single individual has their own unique part to play, which is essentially an expression of their own inner self. As I come to accept this, rather than spending my time keeping an eye on what others are doing, I can begin to use my energy to play my own part to the best of my ability.
I realise that I cannot possess or own the behaviour of others, and if I do try, this will ultimately lead to conflict. Instead I need to practice the understanding that regardless of whatever action a person may be doing, according to their own part within the play there is some reason why they are behaving in that way. Therefore I should try not to jump to conclusions too easily; and rather than trying to control another person’s behavior, it will be far easier and more productive for me to focus my energy on my own actions.
This concept of life being a drama & pre-destined can help us to detach ourselves from what’s happening around us, and this detachment is of great help in learning not to make judgements so quickly about others. This is one of the many benefits of practicing meditation. It helps us to create personal space within ourselves so that we have the chance to look, weigh up the situation, and respond accordingly, through remaining in a state of self-control. When we are angry, we have no self-control. At that moment we are in a state of internal chaos, and the anger can be a very destructive force. Sometimes anger is used as a kind of self-defence mechanism, a sentry guard standing outside the fortress walls of our inner selves.
When anybody tries to attack or criticize us, anger pops up & reacts. Anger is the emotion, which tries to hold all the other illusions together. If anyone tries to attack what we believe in or care about, anger comes out to chase them away. This is an example of using anger to protect our simulated self, our sense of ego. However, by recognizing ourselves as spiritual beings, and through the awareness and experience of the beauty of our true nature, our dependency on other people’s approval reduces as we rediscover an inner stillness and stability.
Thus the need for anger as our protector is eliminated. This form of stability can create a firm foundation, a kind of positive stubbornness. Others can say whatever they want, and it may also be true, but we don’t lose our peace or happiness for any reason. This is to respect what is eternal within each of us. We give ourselves the opportunity to maintain our own peace of mind. This highlights a crucial insight. We have a choice. If we have taken sorrow from someone, we cannot blame the other person and say, “It’s your fault, you spoke to me like this”. We recognize that we do have a choice in every moment. We can use our intellect as a filter to decide what we are going to allow to enter, and what we are going to prevent from coming inside and affecting me.
Broadly Speaking, There are Two Methods, which people suggest one should try in order to deal with anger.
- Some say if you’re feeling angry, then be angry as away of expression—let it out. And indeed, at that moment we do become free from the anger, because we have let it out. However, as we deepen our understanding and experience of the way in which our consciousness works, we realize that the more we do something, the deeper that habit becomes. So tomorrow we will find it easier to become angry because we have already done it today. It is like a smoker trying to give up cigarettes. When he feels like smoking, he smokes, and so he doesn’t feel like smoking any more. Nice idea. But instead of removing that desire, the act of smoking has only temporarily fulfilled it, and the habit has taken an even firmer grip such that tomorrow the desire will be even stronger. So expression doesn’t transform the habit or feeling.
- Another suggestion people might make is that you should suppress anger. If you feel yourself getting angry, stop yourself, suppress it. But this is the pressure cooker situation. I just get more and more heated up inside until I explode! I can only ever suppress for a certain period of time. And actually when I am suppressing, I am really pushing those fears and emotions into my subconscious, from where they will emerge in another form, rather like weeds.
But There is a Third Method, which could be described as sublimation, or the changing of form. Through the daily practice and application of spiritual principles in our practical life, the experience of our own inner peace can become very natural. In this way, just as the form of water can be changed from solid to liquid to gas, so too the energy which was previously being used to express and feed anger, can also be changed to become the expression of more positive and constructive qualities, such as determination or courage. Rather than being angry with someone to prove a point, we can learn to be assertive. Assertiveness contains respect for oneself, whereas anger shows respect for neither the self nor others. Only by ridding our-self of anger can we become free to experience the peace of our true spiritual nature.
Meditate with us! At no cost AT ALL… & learn to live without Anger !