One of the insalubrious emotions is our dear old friend ANGER.
You need to understand that a single word spoken in anger not only robs you of your peace of mind but also leave a scar on other person’s heart which at times stay with them for a very long time.
It starts with the realization that you do have the choice to think and feel the way you want to. If you analyze at what it is that makes you angry, you might realize there is nothing that has the power to make you feel this way.
You can only allow something to trigger your anger—the anger is how you respond to some event or somebody. But because we all are so used to react on impulse that we forget to choose how we want to feel, and then respond inappropriately, leaving ourselves with angry feelings.
You have to learn that how hard you may try but some circumstances and situations are beyond your control but what you can control is how you react to that situation or those circumstances. You can choose how to respond to the particular situation or a person.
Only You can increase Your capacity to tolerate; only You can develop Your ability to understand; and only You can nurture Your love for others regardless of whether one day they praise you and the next they defame you.How To Overcome Anger?
Modern-day life comes with lots of challenges. In facing these you have come to see every interaction within this world as part of one large drama or game. And while we all are here on the stage playing this drama of life, we all have our own unique part to play, which is essentially an expression of ourown inner self. So, you will be playing roles which are actually manifestation of your soul.
As you come to accept this, rather than spending your time keeping an eye on what others are doing, you can begin to use your energy to play your own part to the best of yourability.
You should realize that you cannot possess or own the behaviour of others, and if you do try, this will ultimately lead to conflict. Instead of correcting others, bring yourself at par with the understanding that regardless of whatever action a person may be doing, he/she are playing their own role in the drama and there is always a reason for them to behave in that particular way.
Therefore You should try not to jump to conclusions too easily; and rather than trying to control another person’s behavior, it will be far easier and more productive for You to focus your energy on your own actions. This concept of life being a drama & pre-destined can help you to detach yourselves from what’s happening around you, and this detachment is of great help in learning not to make judgmentsso quickly about others.
This is one of the many benefits of practicing meditation. It will help you to create a personal space within yourselves so that you have the chance to look, weigh up the situation, and respond accordingly, through remaining in a state of self-control.
When we are angry, we have no self-control. At that moment we are in a state of internal chaos, and the anger can be a very destructive force.
There are times when anger is used as a kind of self-defense mechanism, a sentry guard standing outside the fortress walls of our inner selves.
When anybody tries to attack or criticize us, anger pops up & reacts. Anger is the prime emotion, which tries to hold all the other illusions together. If anyone tries to attack what we believe in or care about, anger comes out to chase them away.
This is an example of using anger to protect our simulated self, our sense of ego. However, by recognizing yourselves as spiritual being, and through the awareness and experience of the beauty of your truenature, your dependency on other people’s approval reduces as you rediscover an inner stillness and stability.
Thus the need for anger as your protector is eliminated. This form of stability can create a firm foundation, a kind of positive stubbornness. Others can say whatever they want, and it may also be true, but you don’t lose your peace or happiness for any reason.
By doing this, you respect the eternal being residing in you. You give yourselvesthe opportunity to maintain yourown peace of mind. This highlights a crucial insight. You have a choice. If you have taken sorrow from someone, you cannot blame the other person and say, “It’s your fault, you spoke to me like this”.
We recognize that we do have a choice in every moment. We can use our intellect as a filter to decide what we are going to allow to enter, and what we are going to prevent from coming inside and affecting me.
Broadly Speaking, There are Two Methods, which people suggest one should try in order to deal with anger.
- Some say if you’re feeling angry, then be angry as a way of expression—let it out. And indeed, at that moment we do become free from the anger, because we have let it out. However, as we deepen our understanding and experience of the way in which our consciousness works, we realize that the more we do something, the deeper that habit becomes. So tomorrow we will find it easier to become angry because we have already done it today.
It is like a smoker trying to give up cigarettes. When he feels like smoking, he smokes, and so he doesn’t feel like smoking any more. Nice idea. But instead of removing that desire, the act of smoking has only temporarily fulfilled it, and the habit has taken an even firmer grip such that tomorrow the desire will be even stronger. So expression doesn’t transform the habit or feeling.
- Another suggestion people might make is that you should suppress anger. If you feel yourself getting angry, stop yourself, suppress it. But this is the pressure cooker situation. I just get more and more heated up inside until I explode! I can only ever suppress for a certain period of time. And actually when I am suppressing, I am really pushing those fears and emotions into my subconscious, from where they will emerge in another form, rather like weeds.
But There is a Third Method, which could be described as sublimation, or the changing of form.
Through the daily practice and application of spiritual principles in your practical life, the experience of your own inner peace can become very natural.
In this way, just as the form of water can be changed from solid to liquid to gas, so too the energy which was previously being used to express and feed anger, can also be changed to become the expression of more positive and constructive qualities, such as determination or courage.
Rather than being angry with someone to prove a point, you can learn to be assertive. Assertiveness contains respect for oneself, whereas anger shows respect for neither the self nor others.
Only by ridding yourself of anger can you become free to experience the peace of your true spiritual nature.
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